My Heart Can't Tell You No
by authorjazmyne
Summary: Addison/Meredith One Shot inspired by the song 'My Heart Can't Tell You No' by Sara Evans. Includes smut and angst... what a combination.


Pairing: Addison/Meredith

A/N: Inspired by 'My heart can't tell you no' by Sara Evans ONE SHOT

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

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Addison sits at a bar stool in Joe's, sipping a glass of wine quietly. It's been a long, tiring day, one she wishes was over already. She'd lost both a mother and her child, something that while being used to, still dampens her mood. Addison's phone vibrates in her bag, a text message arriving from Meredith, but she ignores it. The intern and Addison have been fighting a nasty war with each other as of late. Their original problems quickly vanished, the ones where Meredith disliked her for stealing her McDreamy from her, and the ones where Addison sort of disliked her for being the last straw to make her faulty marriage crumble. Their animosity was replaced with a raw desire for one another, a passion that only the other could fulfill. It started out with an accidental kiss, something that was only innocent for a few seconds. It was then they realized the chemistry between them, the heat, the pleasure they could receive from one another.

At first everything was okay. Addison and Derek had divorced, Meredith was single, but soon Meredith and Derek got back together. Addison understood because it wasn't like they were serious or even dating. It wasn't until a few weeks had passed that Meredith had even called her. Addison ignored of course, but the persistent intern didn't give up, which is how Addison became something she never wanted to be again – a cheater. That wasn't the only time, God knows it would've been much better if it was. Addison and Meredith couldn't get enough of each other, temptation and desire taking over them, causing them to continue their illicit affair.

It's been months since their first time, but Addison still gets that rush every time, making it feel like the first time again. When she kisses Meredith her heart pounds in her chest, ringing so loud in her ears that she thinks it'll deafen her. She still reacts the same way, too. Every touch feels like the first, every kiss they say will be the last feels like it'll never end, and every time they fall asleep together it feels like it's all right. But they aren't foolish and they know that it's not going to work the way it is. Addison's been trying to stay away from Meredith, ignoring her calls, taking stairs in the hospital, just trying to avoid the other women, but none of it seems to work. None of it works.

Addison gets up from the bar, paying for the glass of wine and then heads to her hotel room. Addison showers when she gets there, allowing her body to relax under the hot spray. She's ready to get to sleep in an hour, shedding herself from her robe and sliding into the bed naked. The warm sheets give her all the heat she needs, allowing her to be comfortable. She lies there for a while, trying to fall asleep, but unable to do so. Every now and then she can hear the sound of her phone vibrating on the nightstand, but she ignores it, not wanting to be bothered because she knows it's Meredith. She gets annoyed by it after a while and finally gets the phone, ready to respond to her, but then she hears a knock on her hotel room door. She looks up at the door and then with an exaggerated sigh, she gets up, getting her robe and going to the door.

"Addie, open the door," Meredith says on the other side of the door, knocking on it.

"What do you want, Mere?" Addison asks, leaning against the wall next to the door. She leans her head against the wall, looking at the door, her heart racing in her chest from knowing Meredith is so close.

"We need to talk," she responds simply. Addison doesn't say anything so Meredith takes a deep breath and continues on. "Derek and I... I'm leaving him, Addie."

Addison's heart stops as she puts her hand on the doorknob to open it, but she can't. She's heard Meredith say that before, heard her say she and Derek were over, but it was never true. Meredith meant it when she said it, Addison was sure of it, but the blonde always found a reason why she couldn't. Addison closes her eyes. "Meredith, you have to go."

"Addie," comes Meredith's faint whisper.

"Please," Addison whispers back, not knowing how long she can stay strong, keeping the door closed between them. "You shouldn't be here."

"Goddammit! Addison open this door," Meredith commands, her voice cracking, that alone is enough to break Addison's heart. Addison opens the door a little, looking out through the crack and Meredith shuffles on her feet. "Can I come in?"

After a deep breath, one she really needed, she opens the door, waving her in. "Meredith we have to stop this," she tells her weakly as she walks towards her bed, sitting down on the edge. The intern sheds herself from her coat, putting it on the chair along with her bag. Addison watches as she removes her shoes, then her shirt and pants, leaving her in just her panties and bra. Addison closes her eyes, unable to look at Meredith. "What happened with Derek?"

Meredith runs her fingers through her dirty-blonde hair, walking over to the bed and settling on her knees in front of Addison. "We got in a fight again," she says as she unties the belt on Addison's robe. "I can't be with him anymore," she whispers, sliding the robe off Addison.

Addison shivers slightly and then opens her eyes. "You know that's not true. You love him, Meredith, you and I both know it."

"I love _you_, too," Meredith tells her. It's the first time she's said it, though they both already knew it to be true. She looks up at Addison, cupping her cheek with the palm of her hand, caressing it tenderly. "Addie, I love you."

Addison closes her eyes, nodding her head. "I love you, too," she tells her. "But..." Meredith stops her from talking by bringing her down for a heated kiss. Meredith's lips glide against hers, hot and soft, teasing her. Meredith's tongue pushes against her lips, trying to part them, begging for access to the heated mouth she loves so much. Addison gives in, opening her mouth, moaning at the first contact of Meredith's tongue against her own. They kiss soundly, sharing the last ounces of air within them as they both make it to a lying position on the bed.

Meredith pulls away from the kiss breathing heavily as she looks in Addison's eyes. Addison's eyes are wet, tears waiting to escape from her crystal eyes. Meredith leans down and kisses her cheek tenderly, running her hands over her hair. Meredith hates herself every time she sees pain in Addison's eyes. Until recent discoveries, Meredith hadn't the slightest idea that this woman they all thought was somehow related to the devil was really a very sensitive woman. Of course, Addison puts up her walls, puts on a fake smile and pretends like it's all fine when she's out there in front of everyone, but it's different when they are alone. Meredith can see how weak she really is, how much she hurts, and it scares Meredith that she has this power over the woman she knows to essentially be a very strong person, despite all her weaknesses.

Addison sighs softly into Meredith's ear as she gently kisses her face, leaving a hot trail behind her lips. Addison can feel her pulse as it quickens, her mind shutting off slowly, allowing her heart to do the thinking, but that's how she found herself in this mess. Her mind is smart enough to say no to her, let her go, make it all stop, but her heart is weak, desperate for something. Addison's heart can't say no to Meredith. Addison tells herself that it'll be different this time, but then Meredith looks into her eyes, the clear water color of her eyes mesmerizing her, and she knows it won't be any different.

"Meredith, we have to talk about this." Meredith gets up, straddling Addison's waist, an eyebrow raised, silently telling her to go on. "Are you really going to leave Derek?" Meredith looks away. Addison sighs, closing her eyes. "You can't keep doing this, Meredith. This isn't fair to him, he doesn't even know, and it's not fair to either of us either."

"I know," Meredith says, nodding her head. "I'll talk to him," she says softly.

Addison smiles sadly. "No you won't," she whispers as she opens her eyes.

"Addie," it comes out as a pleading sound. Addison shakes her head and pulls her down by the neck, bringing her closer to her. "I want to."

"I know," Addison assures her in a whisper. "Let's just forget about that," she whispers against her lips and then captures Meredith's bottom lips into her mouth, softly sucking on it. Meredith groans, falling against Addison's body, turning into a mass of a jelly on top of her. Addison rolls them over so she's on top of her, her body weight pushing Meredith's lithe body

Addison starts kissing her way down Meredith's body, pushing away the evil thoughts in her head that keep reminding her that nothing's ever going to change. She refuses to let her own thoughts ruin what seems to be a promising end to a horrible day. She nibbles on soft skin, licking her way down Meredith's long neck as she bends her head back, exposing her white neck to her. Addison sucks over the hollow of her neck, surely leaving a mark, but she doesn't care, and Meredith doesn't seem to either. When Addison's hands cup her breasts through her bra, they both moan, a hungry sound coming from Addison and a pleased one from the other. Addison kisses down to the valley between her breasts, licking the slightly salty skin, letting her tongue tease Meredith's most sensitive spots.

Her hands move against Addison's back, sliding over her smooth skin, feeling her against her just the way she wants. Her hands go up to the red hair she loves to tangle her hands in, cradling Addison's head as she starts to gently suck on the inside of her breast. Addison's mouth feels so good on her, hot silk touching her in the most sensual way. She moans softly, arching her chest up as she watches Addison. The auburn-haired woman looks up into her eyes, her eyes turning green from their usual blue color. Meredith licks her lips as Addison pulls her bra cup to the side, quickly wrapping her mouth around a light-brown nipple, suckling it.

"Ooh," Meredith sighs, raising up slightly, her hands holding Addison's head to her. She can feel her entire body heating, growing completely aroused, her senses on overdrive. Everyone knew Addison had talented hands – she is a surgeon, after all – but the things she did with her mouth were sinfully delicious. "Mmmm," Meredith hums as a moan, wrapping her leg around Addison, wanting to feel more of her.

Addison sucks gently, then roughly, adding her teeth until she moans and then takes them away, teasing her and enjoying it. She lets her fingertips brush against Meredith's skin as she moves on to her other breast, her fingers bringing goosebumps up on Meredith's pale skin. Meredith moans and her hips start to roll, a sign that Addison knows all too well. Meredith's seeking more, wants her to move further down, but Addison also knows she enjoys the teasing, whether she admits it or not.

Addison gets up on her knees, moving off the other woman's back, rolling her over. She unfastens Meredith's bra as she explores her body with her mouth, hot kisses being left all over her, gentle nips on her shoulders, rough sucks between her shoulder blades and proper attention being paid to all the places that make the younger of the two squirm. Meredith does just that, writhing under Addison's careful attention, her hands squeezing the sheets and her blood rushing like a wave. Addison doesn't give her what she wants still, taking her time as she spreads kisses over every inch of creamy skin, kissing her into her memory, remembering her by the way she feels against her lips. She doesn't stop until she can close her eyes and still see Meredith, feel her on her lips, taste her slightly salty skin on her lips.

Meredith moans and groans repeatedly, her body trembling everywhere. Her skin is sweaty and ready for Addison to give her more. Meredith can feel her arousal pooling in her panties, the thin material ruined with the evidence of how much Addison turns her on. She wants so much more, but she already knows that Addison enjoys it this way, wants to take it slow, and because of that she lies there on her stomach, shivering with anticipation. She soon feels Addison turning her back over, looking into her eyes, her eyes completely green now, full of lust and desire. Meredith licks her lips and then Addison kisses her soundly, teasing her mouth with her tongue, letting it run against the roof of her mouth, across her teeth, caressing her cheeks and tangling with Meredith's.

Meredith gets on top of Addison, pushing her flat on her back, not breaking their kiss as her hands move to her breasts. She rolls her nipples between her fingers, squeezing tightly, making Addison groan into her mouth, biting on her lip, which makes Meredith moan as well. She kneads her breasts, causing the older woman to wrap her legs around her, pulling her down to her, rocking into her slowly, causing both women to moan into the kiss. Their bodies are overwhelmed with passion, needing a way to release all these things they feel.

Meredith breaks their kiss, moving down her jaw, then her neck, kissing right under her ear as she arches up, her hips rocking faster. Meredith moans, biting the tender flesh under her lips. Addison's hands possessively span across Meredith's back, her nails raking over the skin, her need being sent to the other woman, communicated wordlessly. Meredith understands, knows although Addison teases her, she doesn't really enjoy being teased most of the time, prefers to go ahead and get what she wants. Meredith is more than happy to give her whatever it is that she wants, even if it's just for the moment. Meredith kisses down Addison's sweaty body, licking down her body, her eyes locked on Addison's. Addison breathes heavily, her stomach and chest heaving, rising and falling quickly as she moves further down.

Addison bites her lip, watching as Meredith's tongue circles her navel, making her squirm even more. Her head falls back when she feels Meredith's breath ghost over her wetness. She moans from deep down in her throat, her legs trembling as she raises them, bending them at the knees, opening them wide. Meredith licks her lips and then shrugs off her bra and then removes her panties, settling down on her knees, bent down, her mouth over Addison's center. She smells good, like raw sex, delicious and hot. Meredith inhales deeply as her fingers trail down her thighs teasingly. Addison bucks her hips, unable to control the urge when all she wants is to feel Meredith.

Meredith gives her what she wants, kissing over her wet center, her lips touching her wet folds. Addison moans softly and Meredith continues, her kisses turning into small licks, licks that then grow, becoming long licks from bottom to top, gathering her liquid arousal on her tongue. Meredith loves the way she tastes, the salty and sweet mixing together so perfectly. It's her desire to taste Addison that leads to her tongue slipping between her darkened folds, dipping right into her canal. They both moan as soon as Meredith's tongue slides into her, curving up as she gathers her milky fluids on her tongue.

"Oh, God," Addison breathes weakly, her back arching up, her hands going to Meredith's head, fingers weaving through blonde hair. Meredith's tongue wiggles inside her, licking her inner walls, hitting all the right places. Addison raises herself on her elbows and watches Meredith as she greedily licks her wetness from inside her, bringing it to her mouth and sucking it off her tongue. Addison licks her lips, enjoying the view of the younger woman begin to devour her.

Meredith licks up to that bundle of nerves that's been calling her name, letting her tongue circle and push against it, causing Addison to nearly tumble back down. Meredith revels in the sounds Addison makes as she continues to lick and suck her growing nub. She listens to the way her moans get louder when her teeth scrape it, the way she trembles when the tip of her tongue circles it, the way she yanks at her head when she sucks roughly at it. Meredith enjoys it all and continues to tease Addison. Addison's hips begin to rock, grounding herself against Meredith's talented mouth, feeling heat rush through ever part of her body.

Meredith slides one finger inside Addison as she sucks on her clit and Addison's walls quickly swallow it. Addison begins thrusting her hips faster and Meredith adds a second finger, scissoring them inside her. Addison screams loudly, her body jerking wildly. Addison throws her head back and squeezes the sheets in her fists, her hips raised as she rides the same wave as Meredith; following her thrusts. They create a rhythm, one that has Addison crying out quickly, already on the verge of falling apart into pieces. She moans loudly, her thrusts becoming erratic as Meredith fucks her oblivious. Meredith sits up and looks at Addison, keeping her finger moving as their eyes meet. Addison looks needy and Meredith already knows what she wants.

Addison's body quivers as Meredith slides in a third finger, her palm brushing against that bundle of nerves. She's so close, her body begging for its release. Meredith sucks on Addison's breast as her fingers pump in and out of her liquid heat. Addison's skin is salty, drenched in sweat. Meredith sucks on her skin, loving the taste of Addison. She sucks all the way to her nipple, which she then sucks into her mouth, rolling her tongue around it, making Addison groan. Her hands move to Meredith's back, squeezing her as her arousal grows. Meredith's palm rubs against her clit, grinding against it as her three fingers rock in and out of her.

"Mmmm," Addison moans loudly. "Faster," she croaks out, her voice becoming hoarse. Meredith complies, rocking those three fingers in faster, feeling that sensitive pad of flesh on her fingertips each time. She circles her fingers inside her, spinning them, making Addison cry out in ecstasy, nails digging into sensitive skin. Meredith moans, kissing her way up Addison's body, making her way to her ear.

Meredith licks Addison's ear, her fingers pushing into her roughly, pushing her so close to the edge. "Addie, come for me," Meredith whispers in her ear. Addison's hips push onto her hand quicker, grounding onto it. Addison groans loudly, her walls tightening further around Meredith's fingers. "Come on, Addie."

"_Oh!_ So close," she whispers, fingers scratching into Meredith's back. "Tell me again," she pleads shakily, hips thrusting. "Tell me you love me."

"I love you, Addie," Meredith says, kissing over her ear, thrusting her hand. "I love you so much," she whispers, feeling Addison's liquid heat rushing around her fingers. Addison's walls clench, her nails scratching into Meredith's back more and her legs wrapped tightly around her. "God, I love you so much," Meredith whispers again, kissing her wet skin as she rides her orgasm out with her, the two of them in an unknown world together for a moment as bliss washes over Addison's body and love fills Meredith's heart.

…

When Addison wakes in the morning it's to an empty bed. She closes her eyes back, not fighting her tears. She'll allow herself this moment to miss Meredith, to feel all the pain she tries so hard to conceal throughout the day. She'll have to find a way to stop this, to put an end to it for once and for all. She just doesn't think she can because she'll look into Meredith's sad eyes and suddenly she'll forget all the pain, only thinking of how happy she makes her.

Because when it comes down to it all, Addison's heart can't tell Meredith no.

The End.

Reviews would be lovely. Thanks for reading.


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